Category Archives: Positive attitudes
When we change our attitudes , happiness is actually a choice … your choice . It is entirely up to you .
Sometimes we meet people who say good things about you .
“You did a great job .”
“you were fantastic in handling the difficult situation with the customer”
How does such praise impact you ? Naturally one would feel great !
What if on the same day later , you met someone and this is what this someone says about you
“You little bi??? . That was a terrible stunt you did yesterday”
We would feel angry . We feel terrible .
Attitudes | External Influence
We feel great when someone says good things about us but we feel angry and terrible when someone says otherwise . So why are we affected by what people say about us especially the not-so-good words ? Why should we allow such words to hurt us and affect us for the rest of the day ? We are still the same person but such external situation affects how we feel . So why do we allow this external influence control our life ? This is our mind and our body . It is as if there is someone with a remote control that controls our mind and body .
So what do we need to do to change this ? We change our mind set , our attitudes and we change our actions . Once we are able to convince ourselves and true to ourselves that we have done good things , our positive attitudes and self esteem would be able to ward off a lot of these negative external stimulus that we are receiving . Like it or not , there will always be people who say good things and bad things about us . So once we change our attitudes towards what we belief is right and knows who we really are , the negative remarks will not affect how we see things . We are no longer affected by negative remarks because we choose to see things positive .
Attitudes | Our choices
With a positive attitude , mind set and with good self esteem , we choose to see things in a better perspective . We choose not to be upset , angry and depressed . We have total control over who we are , what we want to feed to our minds and what we want our minds to feel . There is no remote control that will affect us and bring us down anymore . We know that positive self esteem and positive thinking and attitudes are important and now we have this ability to convince ourselves that our mind and body is within our control . We have ways to overcome this and therefore choose to be happy . We have now developed a mindset to keep ourselves happy all the time .
” No one can make you feel inferior without your permission”
- Eleneanor Roosevelt -
Do you remember the nursery rhymes of your childhood? Do you have your favorites ? Many nursery rhymes have negative connotations . I did some research . Read on to find out more about our much loved nursery rhymes ..
Nursery Rhymes | Negative connotations
These are some nursery rhymes that we used to grow up with that has negative connotations . Here are some of them .
- Humpty , dumpty had a great fall
- London bridge is falling down , falling down , falling down
- Jack and Jill went up the hill ( eventually Jack broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after ..)
- Rock-a-bye baby (when the bow breaks , the cradle will fall)
- Three blind mice … (she cut off their tails with a butcher’s knife)
Well everything here seems to be pretty negative , with things falling down and getting hurt . Kind of scary isn’t it if we have to teach our young toddlers about such negative things and wonder how this will impact them when they grow up .
Personally , I don’t think I remember these nursery rhymes as being negative then , because no one told me , including my teacher . I just like the words , the sound and the rhythm that comes with it .
Nursery Rhymes | History and events
Many of the origin of nursery rhymes are associated with historical event , and some of them has lost its meaning over the passage of time . Some of these rhymes may appear innocent but they are used to spread subversive messages . In those days , commoners are not allowed to make direct criticism as this is punishable by death , but the rhymes allow the element of free speech . Some examples here
- Adam and Eve rhyme (When Adam delved and Eve span Who was then a gentleman) refers to the revolution in 1381 in England due to inequalities . At that time the bubonic plaque (also known as Black Death) killed many people caused by infested fleas carried by rodents (rats and mice) . Prices and wages rose . People no longer believe the church and the church influence declined substantially then . [see report] . The children’s song , “Ring around the rosy” is also about the plaque
- London bridge is falling down . This wooden bridge has it’s history traced to the Roman occupation of England in the first century. The first London Bridge was made of wood and clay . . Many disasters struck the bridge . Viking invaders destroyed the bridge in the 1000′s . It was then fortified and re-built with the various materials . The bridge was later relocated
- What about humpty , dumpty ? The mysterious Humpty dumpty is actually a large cannon used during the English civil war (1642~1649) . In the town of Colchester , they placed this huge cannon called Humpty Dumpty on the wall next to St Mary’s Church . Humpty Dumpty was blown to pieces and the Royalist opened the gates of Colchester and surrendered to the Parliamentarians .
Nursery Rhymes | Direct reference
Earlier we mention that certain nursery rhymes has hidden meaning with a direct reference to someone or something . Here are some very examples
- Jack and Jill (Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after) . Here jack is King Louis XVI who lost his crown (beheaded) and Jill refers to his wife , Queen Marie Antoinette who followed him shortly after . [see story here]
- Mary , Mary quite Contrary is a hidden reference to English Queen Mary Tudor (daughter of King Henry Viii , who tend to go against her father and brother ) who tortured and executed Protestants . The Queen is also known as Bloody Mary !!
- In the case of the “Mother Goose” nursery rhymes , who is actually mother goose ? The mysterious mother goose is actually a witch . [see report here]
Nursery Rhymes | Impact on our children
Now that we know the stories surrounding these nursery rhymes which seem to have negative connotations , do they have any impact on pour children ? As an adult we certainly can understand the negativity but does our children understand at such young age . It certainly did not cause any negative impact on me then , eventhough I was blasted with all these rhymes unknowingly . Simple reason for I didn’t know of such negativity for no one told me . Even if someone told me , as a young child , I probably could not comprehend either for I may not even fear , or be able to relate the severity of what happens when the bow breaks in rock-a-bye baby then . Perhaps I am too young to even understand these adult hidden agenda and its negative elements in the story . They are simply too complex for me as a young child . That’s my opinion of course . Others may differ .
I think the whole intention of nursery rhymes is to get the child into proper syllabic pronunciation and therefore easy pronunciation . Rhymes are interesting and fun , and they need not have to have any logical meaning. They are just merely words arranged in a rhythmic manner to ease remembering and perhaps , with a simple story. In a nutshell i think nursery rhymes help our children to remember (citations) and learn better , and adds a lot more fun .
Here are some studies done on this subject matter [read this] . I guess we can always pick other nursery rhymes that does not have negative connotations at all for our children , just to be sure . By the way , please switch off that TV for it has too much violence !!
What is common between positive thinking and the “garden of weeds” ? A lot actually .
Positive thinking | Our brain
The most important part about motivation and positive thinking is that it starts with our brain . Let us look at what happens when we leave things as is . For example
- what if you don’t shower ? you stink
- what if your husband don’t shave or cut his hair ? Every soon he becomes untidy
- what if you leave your garden as is and do nothing about it ? Weeds starts to grow
So in its natural state , without effort , things gets a little untidy and later starts to fall apart . The same goes to our bodies . If we don’t exercise we get fat . If we don’t use those muscles , very soon it will deteriorate and lose its functions . Guess what happens to our brain if we leave it idle ? Without positive thinking , we will start to accumulate negative thoughts .
Positive thinking | Our brain is like our Garden
Our brain is exactly the same as our garden . If we don’t take care of our garden , very soon weeds will grow . So how do we take care of our garden ? We ensure that our garden has enough sunlight , water and fertilizer . We need to put in effort to do all this and the same goes to our brain too . So what does our brain need ? It needs to be fed with positive thoughts every time so that we don’t let weeds to grow at all in our most important organic , biological asset . Once weeds starts to grow , it is very difficult to have them removed . Once negative thoughts start to sink in , it is also difficult o have them removed . You see , very soon , the weeds that stays in the brain is like “bad” habits which are hard to get rid off because over time , they become character … So feed it with positive thoughts , positive thinking so that we leave no room for negative thoughts to fill in
Positive thinking | Life is like a garden
Life is like a garden . You are responsible for it . You decide what you want to grow , how it will look like , what you want to feed it with and eventually see the results of your effort . There will be times where weeds will start to sneak in and you won’t know till they start showing up . You will have to decide how long these weeds stay and how long they get . You will definitely need to take action when you see these weeds , because if you leave there for too long , it may have taken over the entire garden !! So if you don’t like your garden , change it . It is your garden so don’t let them take root !!
Positive thinking | Reap what you sow
Our thoughts are causes
You sow a thought , you reap an action .
You sow an action , you reap a habit .
You sow a habit , you reap a character .
You sow a character , you reap a destiny .
It all starts with a thought , positive thought , positive thinking !!
Everyone knows that positive thinking is good . But do we know that our brains are wired in such a way that it tend to remember negative events better than good ones ?
Sometimes we wonder why we can remember events that happen 10 years ago but we can’t seem to recall what we ate just last week ? When was the last time when someone criticize you harshly ? I think a lot of us can remember that event and not only this , its details too. Get my point ?
Positive thinking | What do we remember ?
So why do we remember certain things but forget others ? If you have teenager children , ask them and see if they remember the good events or the bad events better ? How about trying to recall what you were doing on the dreadful day of 9/11 . Well I can remember very clearly what I was doing then and I am sure most of you do too . Research has shown that that we tend to remember bad times more than good . Its important to realize this before we discuss positive thinking
Positive thinking | Impact of negative events and emotions
In the work place , if you have a supervisor who tend to recall the bad times more , there is a logical reason for being so . So let’s try to understand more about this . Research shows that we tend to remember such negative events in greater detail than positive ones . Negative emotions actually enhances memory accuracies . Why ?
One researcher argues that by recognizing such negative emotions so vividly will actually help us at some point in time , to survive , if the very same life threatening situation arises again . It helps to guide us and plan in case of a recurrence . This seems to make sense from a survival and evolutionary stand point . [see full report here] . But this has serious implications . While we sometimes want to forget the “bad” stuff so that we don’t carry such emotional baggage , now we have our brains wired in such a way that prevent us from “forgetting” these bad incidents that we simply want to get by and past us . We just sometimes want to forget these painful recollections , but how ? That’s where positive thinking steps in
Positive thinking | How do we try to “forget” bad times ?
Another study was done and it indicates that what we do with our emotional memories and how it affect us has a lot to do with gender , personality traits and the methods we use to control our emotions . While majority of these affects women more as women tend to suffer more from emotional disorders and their increased focus on negative emotions . Being extroversion (assertiveness ) helps a lot as it tends to focus on positive than negative life events . 2 strategies were adopted in this study as to how we manage our recollected memories whether good or bad . First is reappraisal , which is trying to look at a different perspective on negative events , while the other is suppression , hiding the negative emotions .
The study indicated that suppression in men has no significant difference in bad or good memories but it has a pronounce impact on women . Suppression in women ended up with lower mood shortly after . [see full report here]. To conclude , the study suggest that being more outgoing and using reappraisal works best for both men and women when dealing with negative memories .
So having a positive mental image and being a free-er outgoing character and personality will help to counter the effect of bad times recollections
Positive thinking | In Summary
Now that we know why we tend to remember bad events better (and why) , and suppression of these negative events does no good but cause more harm . The only better option would be reappraisal , so that with positive thinking , it helps to put us in a better situation